Playing Catch Up.

Right. Let's do this....

I've been trying to write a post for months but something always crops up.

Sometimes good things: playing with the kids, nice visitors.
Sometimes bad things: hellish workload, vomit.

Now half term's over again and it's almost March. Not sure how that happened.
Doesn't seem 5 minutes since I was blubbing and snivelling into my paint tins having an almighty great big wobble just before the Christmas holidays started. 

The Christmas workload got to be a teensy bit too much for me...working 'til 2, 3 and 4am doesn't help. One cold stressful night Steve took me home and insisted I slept (it was after 4.30am at this point) He then went back 'just to finish off' and arrived home at 8am. Slept for an hour and off we went again. Exhausting and ridiculous and something I never want to repeat.

Thankfully Christmas itself was lovely. We invited my Mum & Dad for Christmas dinner and we spent the day laughing and playing games and the kids had a ball and were thoroughly spoiled. Watching my mum and dad trying to pin 'the nose on Rudolf' followed by a dancing competition to Gangnam Style (expertly judged by Alfie) was hilarious!

Christmas dinner was a complete success and the 2-tonne homemade trifle went down a treat at teatime.

There were sackloads of presents but we were particularly pleased with the gift for my parents. Last year we bought them tickets for The Chelsea Flower Show - neither had been and both love their garden. It was something they could enjoy together and it went down a storm. This year we wanted to do something along the same lines so we had the brainwave to send them to a Vintage Festival. Both Mum & Dad love the 40s..fashion, music, cars, style  - Mum's face was a picture when they opened the envelope to find tickets for Twinwood Festival...they were thrilled to bits.

January was cold. Cold and snowy and dark. I took the boys out sledging and had snowball fights. Then Alfie got poorly and spent the next week off school and in bed for 3 days.

The last few weeks have been a blur of work, sleepless nights and sickness. Our beautiful boy Charlie started nursery at the beginning of February and then fell ill with the norovirus. One delightful night as I lifted him out of his cot he started vomiting...all over his pillow, his sleeping bag, his bed, then covered me and the floor. We both then spent some time sitting on the bathroom floor in our pants while I decided what the hell to do next! Next Steve caught the virus and was in bed on and off for 3 days.

Not a great start to the new year but we did win another award...but that's another blog post!

Superwoman Syndrome

Ok. I give in.I can't do it all.

If you're anything like me each day is a battle against time to fit in as many tasks as a humanly possible. Then bedtime comes around and the guilt sets in...I didn't spend enough time on 4 year old's homework (he's in reception class...why is he getting homework?) , I didn't spend enough time playing with baby, dinner wasn't a culinary masterpiece, I didn't clean the bathroom, I didn't do any baking, the house is a mess, I can see dust everywhere ...on and on I get myself into frenzy. Add in the pile of kids birthday invitations to reply to, a massive pin board full of school events and charity functions, the endless birthdays to remember...it's no wonder I go to bed each night with a feeling of absolute panic. Oh and silly me...I run my own business too.

Why do we do this to ourselves?? I know I'm not the only one who feels this way. Last weekend I decided to beat myself up about the fact I'm not making homemade meals for our 8 month old baby...I'm a bad mother I cried!! 

Then there's the BIG one for me...why am I not slim? I've been battling with this particular issue for a while. I began putting on weight in my 30s which I hated but not surprising really - I was socialising (a lot) and the exercise had started to wane. I had both children late on - so after 2 major ops and 2 kids I ended up feeling very unhappy with my size.

But there I go again! Feeling bad about myself ...my rational side knows that yes maybe I need to make more of an effort. The irrational side tells me I need to be a size 10 NOW! Stupid, stupid, stupid. Even after all these years I still feel the pressure to look good, have a fabulous business, have 2 immaculately dressed, well-behaved children (dressed in Mini Boden obviously) and a show home house like something out of a Cath Kidston shoot.

Most days in my exhausted state I am more likely to put my pants on over my tights but I'm no superwoman despite being called that recently. I'm just muddling along like every other mum and dad with a job or business to run and kids to sort and a house to keep.

Well this week since it's half term and particularly difficult to keep juggling all those domestic balls - that niggling irrational side can take a running jump. The kids are happy, the meals are edible and the house looks fairly clean (if you don't look too closely). I've decided that my gorgeous little boys are not going to remember if the toilet was clean. What they will hopefully remember is a happy Mummy playing with them in the snow or painting pictures.

It's about time we all just stopped trying to be Superwoman...I for one am hanging up my cape.