Ok. I give in.I can't do it all.
If you're anything like me each day is a battle against time to fit in as many tasks as a humanly possible. Then bedtime comes around and the guilt sets in...I didn't spend enough time on 4 year old's homework (he's in reception class...why is he getting homework?) , I didn't spend enough time playing with baby, dinner wasn't a culinary masterpiece, I didn't clean the bathroom, I didn't do any baking, the house is a mess, I can see dust everywhere ...on and on I get myself into frenzy. Add in the pile of kids birthday invitations to reply to, a massive pin board full of school events and charity functions, the endless birthdays to remember...it's no wonder I go to bed each night with a feeling of absolute panic. Oh and silly me...I run my own business too.Why do we do this to ourselves?? I know I'm not the only one who feels this way. Last weekend I decided to beat myself up about the fact I'm not making homemade meals for our 8 month old baby...I'm a bad mother I cried!!
Then there's the BIG one for me...why am I not slim? I've been battling with this particular issue for a while. I began putting on weight in my 30s which I hated but not surprising really - I was socialising (a lot) and the exercise had started to wane. I had both children late on - so after 2 major ops and 2 kids I ended up feeling very unhappy with my size.
But there I go again! Feeling bad about myself ...my rational side knows that yes maybe I need to make more of an effort. The irrational side tells me I need to be a size 10 NOW! Stupid, stupid, stupid. Even after all these years I still feel the pressure to look good, have a fabulous business, have 2 immaculately dressed, well-behaved children (dressed in Mini Boden obviously) and a show home house like something out of a Cath Kidston shoot.
Most days in my exhausted state I am more likely to put my pants on over my tights but I'm no superwoman despite being called that recently. I'm just muddling along like every other mum and dad with a job or business to run and kids to sort and a house to keep.
Well this week since it's half term and particularly difficult to keep juggling all those domestic balls - that niggling irrational side can take a running jump. The kids are happy, the meals are edible and the house looks fairly clean (if you don't look too closely). I've decided that my gorgeous little boys are not going to remember if the toilet was clean. What they will hopefully remember is a happy Mummy playing with them in the snow or painting pictures.
It's about time we all just stopped trying to be Superwoman...I for one am hanging up my cape.
I can't find my cape - infact never had one... er.. not likely too unless I get servants! Measured myself this morning and reckon I must be officially kidding myself that I am size 14/16 - used to be 12 in my hey day, 14 only a few years ago.Christmas and new year are so tempting interms of food. Thank god I am tall.I love my food and love my work (so sit a lot of the time) What hope is there? We just have to do what we do and breathe deeply. You know that most of us feel
ReplyDeletethe same. But we are super women - not Superwomen. lots of love Gabsx
Hooray for that, I really cannot juggle anything else and lost my cape a long time ago!! I've given up trying to be a size 10, just aiming for toning up & gaining some sanity in exercising.
ReplyDeleteNow for the big shocker, I rarely fed any of my children homemade babyfood. Infact by the time I had Kitty I was so glad of the Ella's Kitchen range that if I had met the creator I would have kissed them! I fed my children gloop from Hipp & baby Organix and as soon as they could chew they had what we were eating. My sons are taller than me now, eat like it's going out of fashion and have certainly not suffered because I didn't spend their formative years armed with a blender.
As for living in a show house, sorry but time to break another illusion, but I live in a home not an exhibition. I am sure white furniture and walls are lovely for the boden clad darlings of Dulwich but for us having fun, being together and making a mess is far more important. Life is too short and you are right our children won't remember having an immaculate house but they will remember that we had fun, laughed and were there for them.
So tonight My wonderful, gorgeous, talented friend, I will be raising a glass to all of us super amazing mummies who love our chidlren so much that we make their lives fun and memorable, whilst running a business and aiming to fit into a size 14 pair of jeans :)
Zoe
xx
Arghhh me too!! Why do we do it to ourselves? It is impossible to live in the way that we think we want to. I think I'm going to join you in hanging up my cape.
ReplyDeleteHappiness and living for the moment is what it has to be about. Life really is too short.
I wish I'd read this at the beginning of half-term though!
Anyway, here's to a fabulous cape-free weekend
Charis x
Can I join the bad mothers club too? House is permanently a tip except when we are expecting guests. But we do have a lot of fun in the process :-)
ReplyDeleteOh and I am more a size 14-16 these days than the 12-14 I used to be.
Oh Heidi! So damn true..its a constant feeling of just that! The problem is that we are also ambitious independent women that want to be able to excel in all areas...and we do in our own way x
ReplyDeleteLots of love to you Kipperchops and to the little Diddychops who love their mummy and will be very proud of her and all that she has achieved x
Thanks so much for the comments - I feel so much better for just writing it down. I almost made myself ill this week just trying to keep on top of everything (along with Alfie's parvovirus and my PND rearing it's ugly head) It's been tough but I have loved being with the boys.
ReplyDeleteI am so relieved to hear that you all feel the same way too - I always imagine everyone else being so together with beautiful houses and time to themselves...stuff superwoman - quite happy to be a slummy mummy instead xx
By the way Zoe so funny you mentioned Ella's kitchen baby food - that's what Charlie loves!