Life and loss

I can't quite believe that it is March already. These first couple of months have disappeared in a flash and after all the excitement of award ceremony in January life settled down ..or so I thought. To be honest this last couple of weeks in particular have been very hard. I was diagnosed with post natal depression last year after a bout of dizzy spells (although thankfully mild) but some days it can creep up on me and make even quite trivial things seem much harder.

Apart from the general household drudgery (washing and ironing piles up to the ceiling and constant cleaning) I've also had to work every night once the children are in bed as well as fitting in my daytime work hours between school runs and days when I have baby Charlie at home. I've been beyond tired some days but you just have to keep going. The business is thriving for which I am truly grateful - I know how tough it can be for small businesses at any time of year but especially that tricky post-Christmas period. It's just some days...I wish I could stop the world and get off for a breather!

Sadly my mood has been very sombre recently too due to the fact that my lovely Auntie had been poorly in hospital. After a successful op she returned home and was doing well. They discovered that she was suffering from cancer during the op (hadn't known it was there previously) and were just deciding on the course of treatment when we had a devastating phonecall. On Friday 24th she collapsed and was taken back to hospital and whilst holding our eldest son's 5th birthday celebrations on the Saturday she passed away.
It was a very difficult weekend and hard to put on a brave face for our darling boy but his party went ahead on the instruction of his Nanny who had just lost her sister that day.

My lovely Auntie Sylv

This week we have been preparing to say goodbye to my Auntie and my Mum has been back and forth to see her husband and to help where she can. Tuesday was Alfie's official birthday - Nanny & Grandad came for tea and he was spoiled rotten! It was emotional as we found a card amongst the pile posted by my auntie before she died but I'm glad she was part of the day.
I know she was very proud of us all and I can still hear her laughter. She was one of the kindest people I have ever known and will be sadly missed by us all.
Tomorrow we are holding a service and will say goodbye to her. I just hope she knows just how much she was loved back